Behind The Mask
by Iglika
Summary: Zee/Ro. This is my Valentine's Day present for all of you for 2013 year. It's about Zee/Ro relationship, not about the holiday, so even if you don't celebrate Valentine's Day, please read and comment!


Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Zeta Project'. I do not own any of its characters. It's just a fanfiic.

A/N As English isn't my native language, I want to thank **thelostzelda **for her editing help on this story.

This story is my Valentine's Day present for all of you - my Zee/Ro Valentine's Day story for this year.

But if you don't celebrate Valentine's Day, you can still read this story – it's not about the holiday, it's about Zee/Ro relationship.

Enjoy!

Behind the Mask

by Iglika

**Zee's point of view**

The shop windows and the eyes of the passers-by reflected the silhouettes of a blond girl and a dark-haired boy. They were walking in a hurry, smiling, entirely absorbed in each other. People gazed at them. Not just from a common curiosity. There was envy. They were beautiful, the both of them. But no one outside their world had a chance. They were completely captivated by each other. She was his, and he was hers.

A couple in perfect harmony.

She and he.

You and me.

We were one. A perfect team. The two sides of a coin. Ying and Yang. We encouraged each other; we infected each other with wild enthusiasm, with positive energy and optimism. We could cheer each other up, we made the world brighter for each other.

We laughed, a lot.

You taught me to understand jokes and taught me to make them. I was truly proud of it and I loved that you were proud of me too. I loved to hear your laughter, to see you happy, to make jokes for you. I don't know why you suddenly stopped knowing the difference between my jokes and when I was serious. Or did you just pretended to not comprehend? Why? I knew. I was positive. I was absolutely sure how you enjoyed our friendship. How much you needed me and how much you valued me as your closest friend. I was your best friend…

Could a friendship be broken because it changed into something more? Something bigger? Something more beautiful and deep, something so precious as love? Could a friendship die because it not longer bound two friends, but two lovers?

I thought, I was sure, it could only be blooming. Making this love even more devoted, more alive, more colored, more vivid…

However, a hidden love could certainly fade away; and a rejected love could die.

I didn't want to be rejected… who does?! I was afraid to humiliate myself in your eyes. Who am I then? No matter how good a friend I could be, I'm just an artificial man. You can find so many others, real men, much better than I, who wouldn't have to fear they aren't worthy of you… and in their company you wouldn't be confused. You wouldn't have to try to forget they are artificial…

I repented my past. I thought you believed me. You accepted me; completely, truly, as your best friend. You said the past was past. You forgave your best friend, but would you do the same for your boyfriend? For your lover? Did you really believe me? Did you really forgive me?

I told you I love you. I told you – you are the one I was searching for; the one I would want to spend my life with. It was you my heart was waiting for, for all of my life, even when I didn't know it.

You seemed happy to hear it, you smiled, you laughed… but when I asked you to answer me, when I begged you to tell me the same… you said nothing, you thought it was a joke. You didn't believe me.

Scared to show you my feelings anymore, I stopped talking about them. Once… our faces were too close… you were broken and sad, and so was I. I had become like a mirror of your emotions… and… before I could think… before I could stop them… my lips touched yours. It wasn't a real kiss; it was just a brief moment when my emotions became stronger than my common sense… but… you didn't protest. You didn't draw back, you didn't avoid them. You just accepted them with curiosity… and then brushed it off like a joke... again…

Losing hope, almost completely, I stepped back. Forcing myself to forget, I could see how you were answering my feelings. I couldn't help it though, and carefully observed what your reaction to this could be. You suddenly looked disappointed, even angry at me, and you drew back as well. Not long after that you told me, as a best friend, that you had a crush on a new guy at your job. I was broken… inside; and I couldn't allow it to appear on my face. He was a real man. You deserved to have a real man by your side. I was sure this moment would come and I had prepared myself for it. So I remained by your side. I even tried to help you meet him, as if by pure coincidence…

Why? Because your happiness was my happiness. To know that you are happy was the most important thing in my life. Even if that meant you wouldn't be with me.

I had gotten used to the thought that the one you would choose would be better than me, but was he? I could watch you, for hours. I could watch how you moved, how you talked, how you smiled. I adored you. I knew he wouldn't. He was a good guy, but he didn't have the perception needed in order to value the real debt of your tender soul.

He didn't give you enough attention. He didn't value your beauty and your charm. Yes, he was impressed by how attractive you are, he was intrigued by how intelligent and sweet you are, but he did nothing to keep you by his side. He wasn't inclined to sacrifice anything for you. He didn't even try to make you happy. You were just a pretty girl to him. Not his only one. Not the one he would give his life for.

I was worried about you. I watched you suffering from being rejected and my heart was broken for you. I kept by your side, I kept joking, I kept trying make you laugh, I kept being your best friend.

I couldn't dare tell you again how much I love you… I thought… you already knew it, I thought you would come to me, if you would suddenly realize you loved me too…

You didn't say anything. We still were best of friends, but nothing more than this.

When you finally found your parents and after all the emotions, all the euphoria, you told me how thankful they are for all I did for you and how much they had liked me. I couldn't help but joke that they had probably liked me as a son-in-law. You smiled – 'yeah,' you said, 'they like you like that'! They had said they would be happy to have a son-in-law like me! You kept smiling. They would be happy to have a son-in-law like me?! Me?! The artificial man?! Who was joking this time? I was desperately sincere in my joking because the deepest dream of my heart just escaped my lips and I _had_ to cover it; but there was the truth. The sad truth. The most serious truth of all. My dearest dream, my hopeless hope…

But your words… were they a joke too? Were they only a joke? Or could I find the truth in them as well?

We kept being friends, still best of friends, but just friends. Only friends…

Even after that evening, when I broke my own vows, again, to not even touch you. When I...kissed you again… and again… and you answered me… and I asked you if you would become my wife and you said 'yes'…

I didn't put any hopes in this anymore. Not this time. As always you thought this was a joke. My biggest joke, maybe?

I'm not a joker. I'm not the Joker. I'm too sad to be him. Or maybe I am? Because the real joker is actually sad. Behind his smiling face there are tears. Behind his smiling face there is a broken heart. Actually his smiling face is not really smiling. It's a mask. Just a smiling mask. And behind this mask there is just a hurt, bleeding, dying heart…

Would you ever dare to believe the truth behind the jokes?

Would you ever dare to believe the wounded heart behind the smiling mask?

Because the most important thing is what is hidden behind the masks.

Because I know you love me too.

Would you ever dare to put down your own mask?

Would you ever dare to believe your heart?

The end

A/N If you like this story, please review! Your feedbacks are my strength for writing. No matter when you will read this story, please review!


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